|ShadowHaven||Gui Furruri's Fiercest Fighters|
Padre Hombre Del Dios|
The Mino Brothers
The Dragon of Seattle
|Casualties and losses|
|1 knocked out, 1 disqualified||All incapacitated (hopefully)|
The gang becomes professional wrestlers for the entertainment and monetary gain of Gui Furruri, a mysterious, excessively buff, and possibly supernatural showman.
The man, the myth, the legend, Gui Furruri, has gathered the finest of fistfighters of the Seattle Metroplex to face off in spectacular event of (Im)Mortal Kombat, but after watching his new recruits face off in a flurry of pile drive-ins, dingers, and dives, the great master of martial arts could not help but think that perhaps the tournament needed some spicing up, some new blood, maybe a lot of blood. Thus, he contacted a friend of a friend of a friend and had them send him their finest shadowrunners (at least the ones they could scrounge up).
THERE IS NO MEET. THERE IS ONLY FIGHT. And consent forms. You can never be too careful after all.
PLANNING IS FOR INFERIOR RUNNERS. WE PUNCH. WE YEET. WE DO COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF DRUGS.
A fish-SURGEd fighter hailing from the frozen east (New Jersey) with a slippery body and googly eyes. He's not sure what everyone's calling him, but he likes the attention.
The Mino Brothers
A tenacious pair of gnomes with a talent for tricks and a toolbox of taunts who use terrifying teamwork to dismantle their opponents (by punching them of course).
A massive orc with homemade full-body-replacement cyberware and a coat of rust that proves how long he's had it. He's also the winner of the coveted "Most Ingenious Ganger in Touristville" award for 3 straight years and is currently teaching himself how to read.
This great being has many storied names as a force of true darkness, the destroyer of criminals, lord of blades, scholar of swords, bearer of both trilby and fedora, wearer of black trenchcoats, and wielder of the sharpest katana in all of Seattle. He also has a fondness of nacho flavored chips and a very supportive mother.
The Dragon of Seattle
A man so old and so fierce, that he could parry blows and tear clothes with only a flex of his mighty muscles. Truly he is a man to be feared.
Who needs legs when you've got a Transys Steed? Wheels sure doesn't. He does need a shotgun tho. Just in case, you know, somebody tries to hit him.
A completely neurotypical Russian man. He completed his mandatory military service with distinguished honors and just finished his PhD in Applied Physics before coming out to Seattle on vacation.
An old granny with a love for tea and horseraces. If you're not careful, she'll talk your ear off. Has demonstrated the ability to supernaturally transport her tea set and a small table when not observed.
What can be said that hasn't been said about the mighty Richard Johnson? A wrestler so strong that only two runners could bring him down while he faced them with only his wits, his hands, and his mighty musculature.
Round 1: Padre vs Roadie
ROUND 1. FIGHT!
The two combatants faced each other in a furious brawl. Ducking, dodging, slipping, and sliding in a dance of finesse and martial skill. In the end, the poor padre succumbed to the devilish grasp of the master of roads and was flung to the floor to flop futilely against his opponent's superior strength.
Round 2: The Mino Brothers vs Koi
ROUND 2. FIGHT!
Koi climbed into the ring to find himself face to face with not one, but two combatants, stacked perilously upon one another in an ill-fitting trenchcoat that was quickly discarded in favor of bull masks. The match looked bad at first, with one brother launching the other over Koi's expert kicks and onto his back. The intrepid gnome was quickly flung off and out of the arena. His brother soon joined him with a bonk on the head and a slide under the net.
Round 3: Rustbucket vs Rasputin
ROUND 3. FIGHT!
The two opponents, more machine than man collided with terrifying force, sending flakes of rust and errant screws off of the stage and into the crowd as the pair swung dizzying blows at one another. As Rustbucket began to tire, Rasputin grabbed his opponent tightly before backhanding him with a loud CLUNK!!! and dropping him to the floor. Seeing his opponent on the ground, the big man raised his arm and roared.
Round 4: Rick vs Sage
ROUND 4. FIGHT!
A pair of truly studious fighters (one versed in the intricacies of the blade and the other in multivariable calculus). Indeed a masterful bout between scholars skilled in blade and word. Unfortunately for Rick, it was him that was already dead. The man in the fashionable hat fell, perhaps one day to seek revenge in his own story.
Round 5: The Dragon of Seattle vs Roadie
ROUND 5. FIGHT!
What seemed to be, at first, an old, wrinkled man soon revealed himself to be a fighter unlike any other. Calm, poised, and agile as snakes, the two brawlers traded blows and dipped, ducked, and dodged. 'til at last the old man's stamina gave out and he found himself tumbling to the mat under the quick hands of "That Guy".
Round 6: Wheels vs Koi
ROUND 6. FIGHT!
A man in a wheelchair shouldn't be in the ring. You're probably thinking. Well, on any other day, you'd be right. Not today. Today was the day that Wheels stood up. Today was the day that Wheels pulle- IS THAT A GUN?!?!??. DISQUALIFIED. Get 'im outta here! Goddamn psychos.
Round 7: Crazy Ivan vs Rasputin
ROUND 7. FIGHT!
Maybe Ras put a little bit too much into that punch. Maybe Ivan didn't really want to be here and buckled so he wouldn't have to fight anymore. Who knows? In any case, the big street sam was disqualified for cheating and jailed (temporarily).
Round 8: Granny Thicket vs Sage
ROUND 8. FIGHT!
Sage didn't want to hurt the nice old woman and the nice old woman didn't want to hurt Sage. They had a very pleasant conversation about horses and threatening her grandson for not calling his grandmother enough.
Finale: Richard Johnson vs Roadie and Sage
CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND. FIGHT!
Mighty smashes, powerful bashes, and Herculean YEETS were the highlights of this breathtaking display of the limits of the human body. In the end, Sage and Roadie prevailed, defeating their fierce foe by only the narrowest of margins, while, of course, producing the finest entertainment this side of the Mississippi.
Koi was roused by a stim patch that smelled suspiciously of barbeque sauce.
Rasputin was released from prison (again) (probably).
Roadie and Sage went home with the trophy, a large, supposedly solid gold statuette of Gui Furruri himself. Upon closer inspection, it was revealed that the figurine was instead chocolate wrapped in golden tinfoil.
With their fighting done and their prize collected, the gang celebrated their success with a few drinks before heading home to fight another day.
Nobody knows where Gui Furruri went. Some say he is still organizing quasi-legal fighting tournaments in middle-class gyms. Some believe he was never even in Seattle. Some still believe that he never even existed in the first place. It is not my place to say which one is true, or whether he will return. We will likely never scratch the surface of that man's mind, never comprehend what gears turn under that thin facade of sanity, but one thing is apparent: Kombat is (Im)Mortal.
1 Street Rep
1 Gold(?) Statue of Gui Furruri
Player After Action Reports (AARs)
This was a contest of true champions. I only regret that I could not watch the final fight between the great Richard Johnson and my friends. Next time, I'll be the one buying drinks.
I feel like in my brief time as a shadowrunner I´ve have done more odd jobs than the rest of my life put together... and the craziest thing is... that this could actually BE A THING!
It just needs a bit more money for stuff like sets, props, etc. a few good fighters/entertainers, maybe a good hypeman or two (just to help keep the crowd pumped) and someone to check IF THERE IS A GUY BRINGING A F*CKING SHOTGUN TO THE RING!
Honestly this is what I've come to expect from Seattle. Nothing suprises me anymore about this land of madness and crime.￼ I'm so grateful that the guy was using stun ammo. And that Rasputin told me just how bad my Russian is. God that poor food truck lady, I have so much apoligizeing to do
Indeed a masterful bout between scholars skilled in blade and word. I feel much more confident in my abilities, and hope to fight here again. I do not say this often, but...THAT WAS AWESOME!