Buyer's Remorse

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Buyer's Remorse
LocationBellevue, Seattle Metroplex
Status Threat Level: Medium
Factions Involved
ShadowHaven Rich Idiots
Lil' Boomer
Alexander-James Brodrick Johnson III
Party Guests


In which the runners are hired to recover a painting from some rich idiot.


Brody J likes to buy art when he's drunk/high, and sometimes he forgets to pay his bills - the latest gallery he's stiffed is DaVinci's Delight, owned by one Mr. Mack, who happens to have some connections to the shadow community (see: Postmodern, Posthuman). Mr. Mack doesn't particularly care for people who don't pay their bills, so he's hired some runners to repossess the art - with interest.

The Meet

The runners are contacted individually by their fixers and told to meet at DaVinci's Delight in Bellevue. Mara manages to arrive without incident and seem like a normal person, while LB has issues with the ward covering the entrance to the gallery and decides to smash through it with a high-force manabolt spell, nearly knocking himself out in the process (and attracting attention from the usher). Meanwhile, Gigabite struggles with her new bike's pilot program as she drunkenly makes her way from the barrens to Bellevue, while Kitsune finishes with her day job interviewing a naga who runs a Victorian-era tea house before having a run-in with some very rude teenagers. Eventually everyone manages to converge on the gallery, where they are met by the usher and brought down into an opulent basement apartment where Mr. Mack waits for them.

He explains what he wants from the team - repossession of a painting that went unpaid for by a client, along with interest in the form of another piece of exotic artwork in their possession. The group attempt to negotiate for more cash, but Mr. Mack is firm on his price - 10 grand for recovering the painting, and another 10 for the other piece of art (a sort of clockwork drone). Agreeing to the terms, the team depart before Gigabite can make a further drunken fool of themselves.

The Plan

Learning that their target is none other than the estimable Brody J (who Mara is already familiar with) and that the art is being kept on his (father's) yacht in Lake Washington, the team contemplate their next move. LB calls up Kenneth "Flamesaw" Murphy, who is on Brody J's The Most Urban Brawl team - they briefly consider using Kenny as a distraction to get Brody J to go out clubbing so that he will not be on the boat, but after learning that there's going to be a party they instead use Kenny to angle for some extra invitations - since Brody J is everyone's friend, this is not an exceptionally hard sell. Heading to the docks, the team are picked up in a SpinRadical Laser Survival Bubble which floats them out to the yacht.

The Run

Arriving on the boat, the team start to ingratiate themselves: Gigabite (very drunk and getting drunker) goes to chug Hurlg with some of the guests, while LB and Mara go to greet Brody J with Kenny and Kitsune sneaks around looking for signs of art. They are able to find the clockwork doberman drone quite easily, and Gigabite is able to hack the boat's cameras and locate it. LB goes to get eyes on the painting, and is distracted by another rather striking one - a nude portrait of Brody J located in the room opposite which he becomes immediately fascinated with. While Gigabite tries (and fails, alerting Brody J's much more competent bodyguards to the failed hacking attempt) to place a mark on the maglock to the room where it is located, LB works to remove the nude portrait from its frame, being caught in the act by one of the bodyguards (unclear whether it was Vee or Tee).

At this point, figuring that the game is up, LB comes clean - he tells Tee/Vee that Brody J hasn't been paying his art bills, and that they've been sent to collect. Tee/Vee prepare to throw LB overboard, however some persuasion (assisted by Mara over comms) convinces them that they have no actual ill-intent towards Brody J, and that they don't want to see who gets sent next. Tee/Vee agrees to go go along with the con, if only so that Brody J can continue not facing the consequences of his actions (as is their job) - when LB asks if he can take the nude portrait, they insist that he takes it with him.

Putting their "plan", such as it is, into action, LB brings the nude portrait to Kitsune, who uses it to body sculpt herself into a doppleganger of Brody J before going to join him in the hot tub. Brody J, who is very drunk and high, is elated at this development, and LB manages to get them both to sign a "copy" of his portrait for him. Gigabite, quite drunk at this point, proposes a bet between Brody J and Kitsune as Brody J - since they're both pals with Mara the mage, they propose that she have a ghost fight his cool dog drone, with the winner getting to keep the painting. Since Brody J is making the bet with himself, he readily agrees.

Gathering a crowd of drunken revelers to observe, Mara conjures an air spirit to do battle with the clockwork dog - it, unsurprisingly, wins very easily, engulfing it before carrying it away into the night, with Mara shapechanging herself into a bird in order to follow it and ensure that the drone is taken to safety. The party-goers cheer at this, and it seems to entertain Brody J enough for him to give the painting to himself - Tee and Vee just look at eachother and shake their heads before not-so-subtly encouraging the runners to leave.


Kitsune, as Brody J, stays to party with Kenny and the boys until sunrise, while LB and a very-drunk Gigabite recover the art and return to shore, with many wacky antics between the two ghouls. Returning both pieces to DaVinci's Delight, Mr. Mack congratulates the team on their hard work and pays them the agreed-upon amount, satisfied that the gallery's reputation has been upheld - LB decides to purchase the painting from him at a surprisingly-reasonable price, and keeps the portrait of Brody J as well just for fun.


  • 20k nuyen
  • 2 karma
  • 2 CDP
  • Optional Contact: Alexander-James Brodrick Johnson III (C4/L2 Lovable Idiot) for 5 RVP or 10 CDP
  • Optional Contact: Clyde (C2/L2 Druggie Cabbie) for 3 RVP or 6 CDP
  • Optional Contact: Kenneth "Flamesaw" Murphy (C2/L2 Flamesaw of Just Fire) for 3 RVP or 6 CDP
  • Optional Gear Reward: Art!
  • For LB: One signed nude portrait of Brody J

Game Quotes

Player After Action Reports (AARs)


Another run involving Brodie. This time, as fate would have it, he was the target. At first I thought this would make our task harder, given his considerable financial backing. However, it seemed to make it easier in the end. Some things are very hard to predict.

  • LB - Another perplexing individual. He seems to be almost rudderless and at the same time always effective. I was a bit too indulgent to keep him from deviating and stealing a painting - one that we were not even hired to reclaim. In the end, this action spurred our eventual success in that it caught the attention of Brodie's body guards and gave us a chance to talk with them, once I caught up with LB. I can't say that I would seek to have him on any given team, but at the same time, it probably isn't the worst possibility by a large margin.
  • Kitsune - My first time working with this contractor. A body doubling adept, I believe. They seemed capable when it came to impersonation and performed well when it came to bamboozling Brodie. I would not mark them as the brightest, but they certainly seem to have something to offer. If I'm not mistaken they maintain a day job, or at least something along those lines.
  • Gigabite - A giant ghoul. Also a decker. And a drunkard. As LB claimed, she doesn't put on the best impression and seemed to have a few issues when it came to tasks I thought were fairly basic for those with her expertise. While discussing our options she embarked on an extensive matrix search that seemed to last all day and night and I can't say if it ever bore any fruit. But, sometimes being in the right place at the right time is good enough, and she was in position when our plan called for someone to engage Brodie in a bet. Her drunken behavior was an asset at that point.

Lil' Boomer | LB

Holy shit. This is the biggest mess of a run I've been on. Drunk sommbitches gettin' in the way, high as hell mages gettin' naked and turning into friggin birds, and SOBER mages turnin' into Brody J's. I'll be honest...I want to go back to when I got to be the crazy bastard with the grenade launcher instead of the friggin' voice of reason. This whole boat was flammable. There was so much booze and so many drugs on board. That shit woulda gone up like jet fuel.

But, SOMEONE had to be the sensible one...the one who snagged the important painting and also the painting we were paid to snag. You should count your lucky stars ol' Marcus was on the case. Seriously...I saw so many literal and metaphorical assholes on this run.


I can't remember drinking that much since I was in high school. Like, woah, have you ever tried to chug an entire gallon of hurlg? IT'S NOT EASY. Also what the fuck is it with boats and dogs? I can't hack them to save my life, it's suuuuuuuper weird. Also there was this gnome that kept yelling at me and it was super funny. And mages. Mages are weird. And a fox too. Wait, why was there a fox? I think I blacked out at one point, but the dude we had to get the paintings for was so fun I'd go have a party with him just because. Next time, I swear, I'll drink that troll under the table. I like, promise, y'know?